Writing in Public is Messy

4 Mistakes I Made Writing My Serial Story

It’s a work in progress! (Source: Unsplash)

As season two of my serial Requiem of the Moth winds down, I’m reflecting on what went well and, more importantly, what didn’t.

It’s been a little over a year since I first decided to publish a serial on Substack. Season one was fresh and exciting, I felt free to do whatever I wanted with the story. Season two was more of a continuation, an elaborating of themes and plot points. I wrote it in fits and starts, with extended breaks as I struggled with a lack of concrete ideas. In my opinion, the second season is weaker than the first.

It’s easy to forget, even for me, that Requiem of the Moth is a first draft. I do that with every story, trying to get it perfect on the first try¹, but because Requiem is published as I write it, this illusion is heightened. This is why I want to talk about what I could have done better, what I will change first when I start editing.

I’ve been planning to make completed seasons of Requiem available as an ebook for a while. The improved second draft of season two will go into that ebook but probably not into the newsletter. It’s simply too tedious to go back and edit 10+ chapters of something that most of you probably already read.

Let me know if you would prefer to have the improved season two online rather than in the ebook though!

Disclaimer: Please note that this contains spoilers for Requiem of the Moth. If you’re not caught up yet, feel free to click away and return once you are! The latest chapter is Season 2 Chapter 13, titled Of Whispers and Steam.

Of Whispers and Steam

Now, here are the four mistakes I made writing Requiem of the Moth season two.

1. Little variety between scenes

Reviewing each chapter, I realised that most of them are heavy on dialogue and internal monologue but lacking in physical action. Likely it’s one of my weaknesses as a writer to default towards dialogue because it’s what I enjoy writing and I like to think it’s one of my strengths. If every single scene is two characters talking or one character talking to themselves, however, it gets boring fast.

I could have brainstormed more exciting ways to stage each scene while still advancing the plot as planned. Surely I would’ve come up with many fun situations to put Yun and Usira in.

Perhaps the fundamental flaw in how I think about plot is that I see obstacles and setbacks as mere spice, adrenalin candy if you will, instead of its own way to advance the plot. Protagonists might be captured but their capturer might let slip an important piece of information. They might be injured running from the enemy but the time they need to heal might allow them to reflect on what happened, creating space for crucial character development.

Samantha Shannon’s Bone Season series has been an absolute page-turner, full of lessons about how adversity drives the plot forward in unexpected ways. There should always be balance between characters acting and things happening to them though. Shannon is excellent at that balance too.

2. The stakes feel too low

At the start of season two, the threat of murder was still hanging over Yun’s head after he learns that it wasn’t Vylira who tried to have him assassinated.

For Usira, his family’s reputation is at stake which works well with the situation escalating as the season progresses. For Yun, however, the threat of an unknown party out there still trying to have him assassinated feels too vague. In addition to that, there’s always the risk of him losing his position and influence if he keeps antagonizing the clans but that hasn’t changed from season one. We’re used to it now and the impact has lessened.

I tried to add an acute sense of danger by having Ulan control his puppets but I wonder if that worked as well as intended. Maybe I should’ve highlighted his paranoia more, especially in the scenes we spend in his head.

That being said, I believe I managed to present an exciting climax, which surprised even me. Originally I wanted to bring them together as partners much later in the story but if there’s one thing I learned about the romance genre², it’s that you use every chance to thrust the characters together against their will.

3. Failure to keep track of details

Do you remember who was head of Usira’s drip house in season one?

It was his father. When I first wrote the scene with his parents in season two, it was still his father but then I decided to switch it up. The gender roles felt too traditional for a society I designed with little to no difference between genders. Usira’s mother became the hardliner leader, his father the soft-spoken and cautious bookkeeper.

This is one of the major drawbacks of writing a serial. I should’ve worked out Usira’s family dynamics sooner, which would’ve helped with keeping all their roles in mind and prevented that slip-up.

I’m usually good with logging any worldbuilding in my notes. Sometimes, however, I’m in the flow of a scene and forget. Sometimes I’m pressed for time and just want to add some quick words to the chapter. Even in those cases, I should go back and make sure my notes are organised.

4. Using the wrong plotting tools

In every long-form story I write, I enjoy weaving subplots and giving minor characters a moment to shine. It’s also an opportunity to advance the main plot in more subtle ways and bring in some variation.

The drawback is that it’s harder to keep track of multiple plots across scenes and chapters. Up until now, I’ve kept all my notes for Requiem of the Moth in Obsidian. Obsidian is a great word processor (the best, for me at least). It doesn’t really do spreadsheets though. For future seasons, I might keep my Requiem chapter overviews in Excel/Google Sheets, just because it’s better for visualising multiple plotlines side by side.

In fact, this is what I did with another novel I worked on years ago that also had multiple side plots going on simultaneously. I already know it works for me.

Part of my plot spreadsheet for an urban fantasy novel about faeries I worked on in 2016-2017. Each row corresponds to one chapter, each color-coded column to one character or plot strand. The last column is revision notes.

I love keeping everything in Obsidian but ultimately, it’s a tool. If another tool is better at what I need, I will absolutely switch over. As writers, we should keep experimenting and trying new things in order to further refine our process. After all, you never know what works until you try!

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And those were the four mistakes I made writing season two of Requiem of the Moth. Let me know which point was the most helpful to you as a writer! As a reader, do you agree with me on these weak points or do you disagree? I’m always open to constructive criticism.

1. Past critique partners have remarked on my clean first drafts too. Clean doesn’t mean there’s nothing to change though—on the contrary, sometimes that makes it harder for me to scrap things.

2. Sometimes it’s unclear even to me whether romance is the A plot or the B plot of Requiem.