5 Comments

This builds nicely on the foundation of the first chapter and introduces a magnificently creepy element, the puppet. I like it.

I would change "Can she know" to "Does she know" but that's mere preference.

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"In an underground city without trees, amber is more precious than silver or gemstones. A clan envoy, then."

This is very well executed. Such a simple line, but it adds worldbuilding and context in an efficient, clever way.

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Thank you, Nathan! I love adding in details like this although I constantly worry about overdoing it too. Of course, I really like my world but will readers want to know ALL about it too? The struggle with infodump is ongoing, I'm glad I was able to pull it off in this case.

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Heh, yeah, it's a constant struggle to know if it's too much or too little, but you also have to realise that some readers thrive on ALL THE LORE! whereas others run away from it. Do what feels best for you, but I will say again that adding those little drips (!) in places like you did here is a really good way of doing it without being overt.

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Drip is going to be a running joke word here haha. I'll do my best!

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